Dental Humor
Kissing is Good for you because
... ..it helps prevent tooth decay. Dr. Peter Gorden,
Dental Advisor at theBritish Dental Association, explains. "After eating, your
mouth is full of sugar solution and acidic saliva, which cause plaque build
up. Kissing is nature's own cleaning process," he adds. "It stimulates saliva
flow and brings plaque levels down to normal."
..it relieves tension. A passionate kiss is a great relaxation
technique, says stress consultant, Michelle Kay Mcnabb. " When your mouth is
in a kissing position, you're almost smiling and, as our emotions and body language
are so closely linked, it's almost impossible to smile and feel tense at the
same time," she explains. "Also, your breathing becomes deeper and your eyes
close when you kiss - that's what you do when you relax. It's a perfect way
to shut out the world."
..it helps you lose weight. "A long kiss makes the metabolism
burn up sugar faster than usual," says Claire Potter. "The calories burned depend
on the intensity, but you can rely on 10 calories for every 10 minutes."
..it slows the aging process. "Kissing helps to tone your cheek and jaw muscles,
so they're less likely to sag," says Cosmo's Fitness Consultant, Claire Potter.
....it increases fitness levels. Your heart is pumping,
your pulse is racing... "If kissing is exciting, you release adrenaline into
the bloodstream and your heart pumps more blood around your body," says Dr.
Susan Hotchkies. "It's a great cardiovascular workout."
..it is a good indication of what's to come. Kissing
a new man gives you the perfect opportunity to check out his pheromones - the
chemical messengers that signal sexual attraction. " The first kiss is always
a good way to work out if there's any chemistry between you," says Paul Brown,
a sexual and marital therapist. "In humans, it's thought that smells plays a
vital part in subconscious attraction, and if your pheromones aren't 'in tune',
you're unlikely to hit off in other areas."
And finally, ..it boosts self - esteem. There's nothing better than a passionate kiss for a major dose of feel - good factor. "In theory, when you're kissing, you're happy. And when you're happy, you feel good about yourself,"
says psychotherapist Paul Zeal.
*Doesn't this make you feel like kissing someone now* :-)
Young lady to father "Daddy, when I grow up shall I become a heart-doctor or a tooth-doctor " "Dentist" "Why father ?" "We have only one heart, but 32 teeth !"
Patient to Dentist "How much to get my teeth straightened ?" "Twenty thousand bucks" Patient heads for the door. Dentist to patient "Where are you going ?" "To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent."
When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of "Painless" dentist. But a local lad quicky disputed this. "He's a fake ! " he told his mates. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him - and he yelled like anyone else."
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem."
With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair...try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair...try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly."
With that he ate his meal and gave his address. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."
A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friends with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off. As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, "Thanks for the peanuts." She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off 'em."
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: with pain $100 and without pain $50.
Patient: Well, without pain it's cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain. .....Without anesthesia, the dentist begins to extract the tooth when the patient screams.
Dentist: Hey, WITH pain it costs $100 !!!
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: $70 Patient: $70 for just a few minutes work???
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.
The Top 10 Signs your Dentist is Crazy
Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth.
His restrooms are labeled "Bleeders" and "Non-Bleeders"
Pumps gas into the waiting room in advance.
Does an extensive search for cavities...dental and body.
He...ummm..licks his tools clean.
Gets mad when you mention that 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed line.
When you come to from being under the gas, he's quick to insist that you wore your pants backwards when you came into his office.
Wears a necklace made of human teeth.
Has a grindstone in the office for his tools.
Insists that a Novacaine shot is something that he'll buy you at a bar if you just go out with him.